Thursday, March 01, 2007

BOO

It sucks to be afraid.

Everything you do, no matter how much fun you're having, there will always be that tinge of unease shadowing you wherever you go. You start questioning everything.

Am I doing the right thing?

Is this really happening?

Is it going to end badly?


It's worse when you forget that you're afraid. It bites you on your ass just as you're at the peak. You're so surprised and you let go of whatever that's keeping you on top, and you fall. And keep falling, and falling, and falling. When you finally hit rock bottom, it hurts like a mother.

You can't run from it. You can't hide for long. The only thing you can do to shake it off is to turn around and face it, head on. That's even scarier. Cause more often that not, what you'll see is a reflection of yourself.

You see what you've done wrong, and you're scared of doing it again.

You see what you fell for, and you're scared of falling again.

You see your mistakes. Your imperfections. Your faults.

And when you do, you can't keep lying to yourself anymore. There it is. Right in front of you.

*sigh*

I wonder if I'll be able to take it. I need to let go. I want to enjoy what I have now, without the slightest hint of fear.

I hate being scared.

I wish I had shisha now.

3 comments:

ArtisteInReflection said...

erm.. to be cautious at times is really good to save ur azz.

However, dont let it take all your joy away and consume your whole life till you're numb or apathetic. Like Me.

You're brave, you're strong and you're smart.

*hug*

maslight said...

eeeeee...

*hug acom..

hope u feel better..juz face it. u're entitled to feel crappy at times but yes, we must seek for hapiness.

noted: i can't think straight, the flu is blocking my brain.

ArtisteInReflection said...

yep. mas is right. we have to seek happiness :)

now if i can just follow that advice myself !