Friday, July 15, 2005

It's 3 In The Morning

Another night and sleep is just out of my reach. So here I am alone in my office space here at my BnB, thinking of a particular person who has my thoughts in a twist. I know something is going on, but I don't know what. (Hence the twist. =D) So, until he tells me, I'll just have to sit and stew about it.

When I was reading my blogs, I realised that my last few have been riddled with typos. I no longer type the way I used to, almost flawlessly, and I have to constantly check for mistakes. In those last few posts, I hadn't the time to check, with me rushing and all. I'll have to edit them sometime. But not tonight. There are just too many things I want to get off my chest.

I'm disappointed in myself. I don't write as much as I used to. And the quality is poor. My notebook is filled with unfinished poems and proses, mostly because after writing a few verses my mind goes blank. I am demoralised.

I'm not my usual disgustingly cheerful self today. Or rather, at this moment. Every little thing tends to irritate me. No, I'm not PMS-ing. In fact, the last day of my period was yesterday. (That might be just a little too much information...) Anyhow, yes, I'm not feeling so elevated today.

I'm guessing it's mostly because I'm thinking too much of the aforementioned person. Why is it bothering me so much though? It never did. Maybe it's passed it's limits. *chuckles* I'm sure a good night's sleep will cure it. But in the meantime, stewing over it seems the thing to do. *laughs* Not healthy, I know. But I can't help it. Or rather, I don't want to. I feel like wallowing a little more. Just to make sure I get all of this negative vibe all flushed out of my system.

I'm wondering if people are expecting me to write any more of my supposedly-inspiring blogs. I haven't hit upon a topic that I feel so much about. So till then, expect to see more of my personal ramblings.

A thought just occured to me. Is this problem with that particular person bothering me so much because I feel hurt? And if so, why am I hurt? Am I harbouring feelings? I don't think so. But it is a thought. I might have to delve deeper on this. Then again I might just be bothered cause I'm a little spoiled and used to getting what I want? *chuckles* I'm thinking it's the latter.

I really need to get some sleep. I have breakfast to prepare. Geez. I sound like a regular little housewife. *chuckles* (Any takers? =Þ)

Ugh. Being awake isn't helping me solve this problem at all. I think I'll go snuggle against my Snake (My stuffed animal from Ikea) with a good romance to help me sleep.

I'm hoping this won't turn ugly.

6 comments:

Hadibi said...

Just don't eat too much :B

pablo said...

wondering...
talking bout which guy ah? the B.P or A.P?

(Before Philipines, After Philipines)

:P

pablo said...

Understandable :)
Not everytime we are at the top of the wheel..
(if that makes any sense, heh)

Haizum said...

BP Cher. He's major history. And would you believe it? I found out all the answers I was looking for in the most unlikely place. *chuckles* Funny how things work out in our lives.

jaYne said...

acom! sawawa here~ came across ur blog 2day. hehee. miss u!

jaYne said...

http://hopesfall84.blogspot.com/ my blog =)