Sunday, July 24, 2005

Between A Rock And A Hard Place

Vast as the world may be, in some sense, I still think that it's incredibly small. Cause everyone seems to know everyone else. And this, in some instances, proves to be a very bad thing. *chuckles* Well, not bad really. Just a tad inconvenient.

Say there are 3 people arguing. And all 3 are incidentally your friends. And all 3 turn to you as confidante. What do you do? Listen, nod and occasionally say "Yeah" and "U-huh" at the appropriate times. Easy peezy lemon squeeezy, right? Sure, initially, it's no problem, cause during the first few heart to heart sessions, they'll probably just tell you the superficial aspects of their problem. Then as time passes, the plot thickens. The bad-mouthing starts, and the I'm-going-to-kill-so-and-so comments start bouncing back and forth. What do you do NOW? Do you maintain your neutrality? Or the more important question is, will you still be able to?

It's kind of sad really. You know how it is. I'm sure some of you have been in this situation before (I can think up a few names already!). Kind of depressing, no? You're not sure what to do. You want to help everybody, make all parties happy. But how? You take one course of action, more often than not, at least 1 of them won't be satisfied. Does that mean you backk off, let them resolve it themselves? But then, as a friend, wouldn't you be obliged to listen to them, as they come to you for comfort? Decisions, decisions.

Some people are lucky enough to be born diplomats. But what of those who live each moment, passionately? They'll probably join in the rage of the current party they're listening to, and the next moment join the other while he or she is having their say. Does that make them hypocrites? Not necessarily. They probably are genuine in what they say, trying to help whoever it is they're lending an ear to by showing them support. Can't really blame them.

What if, instead of listening, you choose to be the one to talk, to all parties, about what you think of the situation? Is that a viable option? Maybe their just turning to you for someone to listen to, someone they can just spill their guts to, an ear, and not a mouth? *chuckles* What do you do then?

So, people, if you've ever been in this situation, I'd love to hear what you did while you were. Were you successful? Did it backfire? Let's make this a discussion~


Anonymous said...

hyPocRite..that oNe wOrd aPpear tO me oNe tOO maNy tiMes wHen in tHOse siTuatioNs..*sigh* iTs neVEr easy Oh..

i woUldNt Say i'Ve beEn suCceSsfuL..cOz thaT dont sEem riGht..

i pReFer liStenINg to aLl the paRtieS n geT to the cOre of the proBLem..aNd TRY HARD noT to be swaYed By prejudiCeS..

tHiS kiNDa siTuatiOn biaSanya resoLve sEndirI..b4 u kNow it..the partieS r thaNkIng u..n u'll be lEft puZzleD..coZ u dIDnt eVen do anYthiNg..

hMm..sometiMEs..u juZ siT n liSten..bE a gREat oNe aT tHat..aNd tHats aLL theY neEd..a plaCe to spiLL..

i dUn thiNk itS wiSe tO be the juDge..n caLL aLL the diFf. paRtieS n try to solVe thiNgs for theM..


Cherane said...

between a rock and a hard'll jump.

ok, ok. that kind of situation i stay clear away from! or i try to. So yeah call me chicken but people who come to me usually want a 'buddy' to be in their side. like war la konon.


i hate taking sides

Cherane said...

it is very hard to be rational evrytime. sometimes you just want to hit out. sometimes principles has to be sacrificed.
sometimes even the trust dies a little.

its even harder when they come when you are in a bad mood or in a conflicting situation.

usually one has to back off, or put your hand in it, so to speak. in a situation where there are no right and wrong, its a very brave decision to make even the effort.

ah, the difference lies in knowing when to make one or the other action.

(whoa..did i just say that??)

Haizum said...

Hehe. Yeah well, like I said, sometimes it's easy to be swayed when you're listening to what they're saying. Guess you have to make sure you spend equal time with all of them.

I've tried to tell outright that I didn't want anything to do with the whole thing, and that didn't turn out so well. *chuckles* But what to do.

Damned if you damned if you don't. =p