Sunday, November 13, 2005

The Rush

Seeing Mia perform the other day, brought back memories of being on stage when I was younger. It's surprising, considering how much I love performing, I haven't done it in the years since I left high school.

I remember, when I was still in school, I'd always look for an excuse, any excuse to be on stage, whether it be to sing, or dance, even to act. Every year, I'd be doing some performance. It'd be the highlight of my high school days. The thrill was partly because I got to cut class with the excuse of practicing, but mostly it was the rush of being onstage itself.

The lights, the music, the adrenaline. It's an addiction.

Which is probably why, as uch as I've achieved or done in the past few years, it somehow felt incomplete.

I've never harbored (at least not seriously) thoughts of making a life out of music. Sure, I've dabbled in writing some of my own, tickled myself with daydreams performing in front of an audience of hundreds, but no, I've never seriously thought of making a living out of it.

I just miss performing. Taking something that someone wrote of their own hearts, taking it into mine, releasing it through singing, it's incredible. The things I feel when I'm performing, it's almost indescribable. (It's can't be utterly indescribable, cause that's exactly what I'm doing here isn't it, describing it?)

It's different when you're at home, singing by yourself, or at a karaoke bar, you know? Maybe it's just me being vain. I'm not saying people drop everything that they're doing whenever I open my mouth to sing, but if you've ever performed on a stage before you'll know what I mean when I say, that seeing the expressions on people's faces while you're up there, it's... liberating. You can see that they feel whatever you're feeling, somewhat. Sometimes you see pride in the faces of family and friends, enjoyment in strangers'. It's... amazing. It's like you feed off of each other.

Does that make sense?

I just hope this time around, it'll be a little different. I'll get my stage and I won't have to pour out all these almost embarrassingly revealing feelings.



Anonymous said...

acom! i got chatterbox redi! come to my page and say something to me there~ he he he. now u can leave comments all! wheee! im so excited!

Paya =)

Anonymous said...

btw, i miss singiing with you for fun, or listening to you sing when you perform.. im so proud of u.


love u lots acom~


Anonymous said...

hey i remember u singing when we were in pri. 5. you went up infront of the whole class. you have a very whoah! voice.

argh damn i need to rush to class.

take care darls

Twyla said...

ditto, you do have a v. pwoargghh voice

i hate performing...the only time I miss singing is when I think of choir, and thats okay because you've got a whole bunch of nervous people with you.

crowds remind me of expectations...i do not like expectations.

hteekay said...

yeah I know the feeling, seeing I've been performing at stage several times. suck at it but did it nonetheless.. ahahahahaha..

dancing, singing and acting has their very own unique feeling to it.. being done three of above, I like acting better. ^^